Katniss and Delly, Facebook Stalkers!
by WhiteLightersEatCookies
Summary: This is the sequel to "Peeta Mellark, Facebook Stalker". What if Katniss and Delly were stalkers? What if they stalked everyone? They stalk people in the bathroom, McDonald's, their bedrooms, and in every place! Who will put an end to their reign of terror?
1. Facebook

**_Johanna Mason's Profile Page  
_**

**_Name: Johanna Mason (you are stupid if you don't know my name)  
_**

**_Age: 23  
_**

**_Sex: Male (SIKE! IM FEMALE YOU LOSER!)  
_**

**_Birthday: July 23, 2456  
_**

**_Current Location: (No way in hell, your gonna find me STALKERS!)  
_**

**_Hobbies: Throwing axes, polishing axes, smelling my beautiful axes, and chopping down trees!  
_**

* * *

**_Johanna Mason's Wall  
_**

**_Comments:  
_**

**_Peeta Mellark: Hey Johanna, wats up?  
_**

**_Johanna Mason: Nothin! Im just licking my axes!  
_**

**_Peeta Mellark: Okay...  
_**

**_Johanna Mason: WHAT! IS THERE A PROBLEM WITH THAT!  
_**

**_Peeta Mellark: No...  
_**

**_Katniss Everdeen: Hey, Peeta-kins! I love you! :D  
_**

**_Delly The Sandwich: U R SO HOTT!  
_**

**_Johanna Mason: Eww... The dorks are finally here now...  
_**

**_Delly The Sandwich: Hey your my boyfriend! My name is DELLY, but all my doctors, CALL ME CRAZY! I made you RASPBERRY TARTS, with extra gravy! But im a cowboy, YOU HAVE TO PAY ME! And all the other boys, try to TASE me! YOUR DOORS ARE LOCKED NOW, YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE ME!  
_**

**_Peeta Mellark: PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE, DELLY!  
_**

**_Katniss Everdeen: IF YOU WERE MY BOYFRIEND, I WOULD NEVER EVER LET YOU GO! I'D YOU HIDE IN MY DUNGEON NOBODY NEEDS TO KNOW!  
_**

**_Johanna Mason: lol that is so funny!  
_**

**_Primrose Everdeen: Hiya guys! Watcha doing!  
_**

**_Katniss Everdeen: STALKING PEETA!  
_**

**_Primrose Everdeen: Okay then... I'm gonna leave!  
_**

**_Johanna Mason: NO PRIM! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE! WANNA PLAY A GAME?  
_**

**_Primrose Everdeen: OOH! I LOVE GAMES!  
_**

**_Johanna Mason: Wanna play the "YES GAME!".  
_**

**_Primrose Everdeen: YAY!  
_**

**_Katniss Everdeen: JOHANNA DON'T YOU EVER PLAY THAT NA-  
_**

_Katniss Everdeen is blocked from Johanna Mason's Profile_

**_Johanna Mason: Everybody shut up! I'm playing a game with little duck!_**

**_Peeta Mellark: Okay!_**

**_Delly The Sandwich: Okay! Oh Peeta, I'M AT YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW! I'M WATCHING YOU TAKE A SHOWER WHILE GOING ON FACEBOOK WITH YOUR WATER-PROOF PHONE!_**

**_Peeta Mellark: LEAVE ME ALONE, DELLY!_**

**_Delly The Sandwich: *Tear* *Tear* WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!_**

_Finnick Odair, Cato, Clove, Effie Trinket, Annie, President Snow, Gale Hawthorne, and Rue join the conversation_

_**Johanna Mason: Everybody shut up! I'm trying to play a friendly little game with Prim!**  
_

_**Clove The Knife: Make me, STUPID!  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: Oh I will make you!  
**_

_Clove The Knife is blocked from Johanna Mason's Profile  
_

_**Primrose Everdeen: How do you play the "YES GAME!"?**  
_

_**Johanna Mason: You have to say "YES" to every question I ask!  
**_

_**Primrose Everdeen: Okay!  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: Do you like President Snow?  
**_

_**Primrose Everdeen:** (Prim hesitates) **Yeahhhh...**_

_**Johanna Mason: Would you like President Snow to strip in front of you?  
**_

_**Effie Trinket: THAT IS MAHAGONY! HOW DARE YOU ASK THAT QUESTION!  
** Rue The Mockingjay LIKES this Comment!  
_

_Effie Trinket is blocked from Johanna Mason's Profile  
_

_**Primrose Everdeen: **(Prim cries and screams) **YES!**  
_

_President Snow LIKES this!  
_

_**Johanna Mason: Ewwww! Your DISGUSTING!**  
_

_President Snow, Cato, Finnick Odair, Rue The Mockingjay, Gale Hawthorne, and Annie Cresta LIKES this!  
_

_**Finnick Odair: REALLY PRESIDENT SNOW! YOU LIKE THAT COMMENT!**  
_

_**President Snow: Oh Finnick! I like anything that has my name on it!  
**_

_**President Snow: I'm developing a little man-crush on you... Tee-hee!  
**_

_**Finnick Odair: ...  
**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: If you do like anything that has your name on it, can I say this?  
**_

_**President Snow: say wat? :P I'm talkin like dis because dats wat cool kids do. type short-cuts you kno?**_

_**Cato: -_-  
**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: President Snow is STUPID, UGLY, AND FAT!  
**_

_ President Snow LIKES this!_

_Glimmer The Sparkly Pony joins the conversation  
_

_**Glimmer The Sparkly Pony: I LIKE PIE!**  
_

_**Johanna Mason: both of you r stupid!  
**_

_President Snow and Glimmer are blocked from Johanna Mason's Profile_

* * *

**Hey I hope all of you like this! I give "" half of the credit here! Give her a pat in the back too!**_  
_


	2. Katniss Stalks Peeta Mellark

I spotted Peeta in McDonald's! Right now, I have to finish stalking him and I have to make sure Peeta-kins falls in love with me!

I saw Peeta eating a giant Big Mac! He looks so yummy while eating the beautiful sandwich!

I took out my camera and started taking pictures of him. Hmmm... When is he going to update his status on Facebook? I just checked 12 seconds ago and still no change! All of a sudden, the fat Delly barges into McDonald's! She was wearing a bikini and she was flaunting that pale ugly body! Eww... Disgusting!

I know I don't make sense, but you have to admit, she's pretty hot! Maybe I'm developing a little woman-crush on her!

I pull out my blow gun and I aim for Peeta through the glass. I blow...

The dart shoots out and it deflects! The dart finds my forehead and I drop to the ground, sleeping peacefully.

Ten hours have passed and I have finally wake up. I quickly get up and I stealthily unpick my wedgie. Too bad I didn't do it stealthily enough! A fat man looks at me through the window. His eyes were bulging and the food comes slithering down his chin.

"INSTEAD OF STARING AT MY BUTT, GO LOSE SOME WEIGHT!" I snap.

The fat man glares at me then his attention turns to his vomit-like food. I wrinkle my nose in disgust.

After that terrible awkward moment, I escaped McDonald's and I headed towards Peeta's house. I climb his roof along with the occasional crash. Peeta's brother, Rye, keeps on screaming earthquake inside the house. Rye bursts out of the house and he crashes into the mail-box.

I pull out my water-proof phone and I logged onto Facebook. I press a button and it leads me to my own profile.

* * *

_**Katniss Everdeen's Profile Page**_

_**Name: Katniss Everdeen**_

_**Age: 16  
**_

_**Sex: Female (I'm not a girl, not yet a woman, possibly a man!)  
**_

_**Birthday: March 23, 2463  
**_

_**Current Location: Stalking Peeta in McDonald's! Tee-hee!  
**_

_**Hobbies: STALKING PEETA, STALKING PEETA IN THE BATHROOM, STALKING HIM EVERYWHER**_**E!**

* * *

**_Katniss Everdeen's Wall_  
**

**Comments:  
**

**_Finnick Odair: I can't believe we actually did it! We ditched Katniss!_**

**_Rue The Mockingjay: Johanna, u r so smart! I know why you chose to speak in Katniss's profile, BECAUSE... NOBODY EVER TALKS IN HER PROFILE!_**

**_Johanna Mason: U just figured that out brainless?  
_**

**_Rue The Mockingjay: :-(  
_**

**_Threshie: WHO MADE RUE SAD!  
_**

**_Johanna Mason: Really? Threshie?  
_**

**_Threshie: IT TYPO! STOP CHANGE SUBJECT! U MADE RUE SAD!  
_**

**_Johanna Mason: Yea, I did BRAINLESS! LOOK AT THE COMMENTS!  
_**

_Glimmer The Sparkly Pony, Clove The Knife, Cato The Sexy Playboy, and Marvelous join the conversation  
_

_**Glimmer The Sparkly Pony: Hey, DON'T BE MEAN TO POOR RUDE! I MAY BE A DUMB BLONDE, BUT I DO HAVE A HEART!**  
_

_**Clove The Knife: Rude? As in Rue? You are really BRAINLESS, GLIMMER!**_

_Johanna Mason, Threshie, Finnick, Rue The Mockingjay, Cato The Sexy Playboy, and Marvelous LIKE this comment  
_

_**Johanna Mason: OOH! BURN!**  
_

_**Glimmer The Sparkly Pony: WAAAAAHHHH! :-(  
**_

_**Katniss Everdeen: Oh, HIYA GUYS! WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE TO MY LOVELY PROFILE!  
**_

_**Everyone: NNNOOOOOOOO! THE FACEBOOK WORLD HAS ENDED!  
**_

_**Amanduhhhh: Hi there! I'm Amanduhhh!  
**_

_**Everyone: ...  
**_

_**Cato The Sexy Playboy: Well... Hi Amanduhhhh!  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: Really? Playboy? You disgust me! Katniss please kick him out of here!  
**_

_**Katniss Everdeen: OKAY! :-D  
**_

_**Cato The Sexy Playboy: PLEASE! NNOOO! KATNISS! I LO-  
**_

_Cato The Sexy Playboy is blocked from Katniss Everdeen's Wall  
_

_**Amanduhhhh: People call me Amanda because I'M A MAN! DUH!  
**_

_**Katniss Everdeen: That is nice to hear! Wanna STALK Peeta Mellark with me?  
**_

_Everyone in Katniss Everdeen's Wall has left the conversation_

* * *

Wow, that was very odd! Everyone had left the conversation all to myself! That is not so fun! Oh well! At least I'm STALKING Peeta and he is all mine!

I shatter a window and I quickly jump inside Peeta's home. Peeta's Mom comes from out of now where and she starts banging me with a pin-roller. 'ROAR!" the Mom shouts.

"OUCH! PLEASE! STOP IT!" I cry out.

I pull out my blow gun and I shoot Peeta's Mom with it!

She drops to the ground sleeping peacefully. I kiss her goodnight.

* * *

_**Peeta Mellark's POV**_

I stripped off all of my clothes and I headed into the warm shower. I finally had the urge to sing.

"_Closed off from love, I didn't need the pain... Once or twice was enough, it was all in vein time starts to pass!_

_Before you know it, your frozen! But something happened for the first time with you...  
_

_My heart melts into the ground, found something true... And everyone's looking around thinking I'm going crazy!  
_

_But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you but they try to pull me away, but they don't know the truth!  
_

_My heart crippled by the vein that I keep on closing! You cut me open and I KEEP BLEEDING! KEEP KEEEP  
_

_BLEEDING THE LOVE, I KEEP BLEEDING, I KEEP KEEP BLEEDING LOVE, KEEP BLEEDING, KEEP KEEP BLEEDING  
_

_THE LOVE!" I sang._

Now my beautiful singing leads me to dancing. I spun around a few times and I slipped. _THUD!__  
_

"OUCH!" I cry out. My face lands near the drain-hole. To my horror, I saw an eye-ball staring at me. I instantly shriek. I tried to run away, but I slid and I slammed my head against the bath-tub floor.

* * *

_**Well everyone! I hope you like this chapter. Give a round of applause to the author "Peeta Mellark, Facebook Stalker". Please review for the both of us! :D  
**_


	3. The Stalking of Foxface

_**Delly Cartwright**_

I finally arrived at the Train Station. I pull out a list of people so I can choose who to STALK.

_1: Foxface_

_2: Finnick Odair  
_

_3: Primrose Everdeen  
_

_4: Katniss Everdeen  
_

_5: Peeta Mellark  
_

So far, I only have five people. Since Foxface is the one on the list, I MUST STALK HER! I walked calmly towards the Train when all of a sudden, a Peacekeeper stops me. "Hello there. You have skipped the ticket booth. That is a very huge crime in District 12! Since I'm a very nice person, I will let this slide! Please buy a ticket and choose what District your heading too!" the Peacekeeper say calmly.

"NOOO! I WON'T PAY! I'M VERY POOR!" I scream.

I grabbed the Peacekeeper's gun and I shoot him in the head. He falls to the ground dead.

I quickly jump on the train that leads to District 5.

"DISTRICT 5! HERE I COME!" I announce to the whole entire world.

An hour passes and I finally arrive in District 5. Surprisingly, the Reapings have begun. The annoying escort of District 5 appears on stage. Her name is Star Power.

"Hella there! Ma name is Star! Let da REAPINGS begin!" Star says in her Capitol accent.

"LADIES FIRST!"

While there is still silence, I search for Foxface through the crowd. Sadly, I don't spot her.

"Foxface Boxface!"

Finally, I spot her in the middle of the crowd. She was staring into space while picking her nose.

Foxface stood there looking like a stupid idiot.

IN FACT, STUPID PEOPLE ARE DANGEROUS! Since she was reaped for the 75th Hunger Games, Foxy could possibly win because of her stupidity!

"FAXFACE! WHERE ARE YA! I HAVE NO TIME FOR DIS!"

Foxy climbs up the stage with her finger jammed in her nose. "Let's shake hands!" Foxy replies happily.

"What if ma high society friends sees troo da window?" Star shrieks. Foxy sighs unhappily.

After the Reaping was over, I continued to stalk Foxface. Just to make sure she doesn't see me, I stand 20ft behind her with a pair of binoculars. AGAIN! SHE IS STILL PICKING HER NOSE! THEN, SHE PULLS OUT 3 GIANT BOOGERS!

TO MY HORROR, FOXFACE ATE ALL THREE OF THEM!

Jesus, I better stop stalking her! CROSS FOXFACE OFF THE LIST! I KILLED A PEACEKEEPER AND JUMPED A TRAIN TO DISTRICT 5 FOR NOTHING! I DID ALL OF THOSE BAD THINGS FOR THIS!

I walked to the Train Station of District 5. I wanted to get out of this nightmare! This time, I ACTUALLY paid the Peacekeeper some money. Ugh... Doing good stuff wants to make me puke!

During the train ride back to District 12, I log on to FACEBOOK!

* * *

_**Delly The Sandwich's Profile**_

_**Name: Delly Cartwright  
**_

_**Age: 16  
**_

_**Sex: Female (DUHHH!)  
**_

_**Birthday: February 23, 2463  
**_

_**Current Location: STALKING DISGUSTING FOXFACE IN DISTRICT 5  
**_

_**Hometown: Well, I live in Subway (The sandwich/sub shop). My Subway is located in District 12  
**_

_**Hobbies: STALKING!**_

* * *

_**Delly The Sandwich's Wall  
**_

_**Comments:  
**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: YAY! THIS TIME WE GOT AWAY FROM KATNISS! WEE! 3  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: Rue, don't act retarded on Facebook :P  
**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: u hurt my feelings, Johanna... (sniff sniff)  
**_

_**Finnick Odair: Oh Johanna! Don't be such a bully! Rue is just a little kid!  
**_

_**Finnick Odair: Also, don't use the word "retarded"! It is really offending to the others who r retarded!  
**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: YEAH! :P  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: HOW COULD U FINNICK! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CALLED ME A BULLY!  
**_

_**Annie Cresta: What is this place?  
**_

_**Finnick Odair: OMG! ANNIE I LOVE YOU!  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: It's Facebook, Annie...**_

_**Annie Cresta: What is Facebook?  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: IT'S AN ONLINE PLACE WHERE YOU CAN CHAT, SEND VIDEOS/MESSAGES, AND CHILL!  
**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: Geez, what's with the capital letters?  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: SHUT UP RUE! YOU AND YOUR STUPID GOOD GRAMMAR! ANNIE DON'T BE SO STUPID!  
**_

_**Finnick Odair: JOHANNA! DON'T BE MEAN TO MY LADY-LOVE! :(  
**_

_**Annie Cresta: How do you send a comment?  
**_

_**Delly The Sandwich: HOW COULD U NOT INVITE ME TO MY OWN PROFILE! I WILL BLOCK U ALL! :(  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: NNNOOOO! PLEASE DO-  
**_

_Johanna Mason is blocked from Delly The Sandwich's Profile  
_

**_Rue The Mockingjay: NOO! PLEASE! I'M SOR-_**

_Rue The Mockingjay is blocked from Delly The Sandwich's Profile_

_**Annie Cresta: OOH! I SEE A BUTTERFLY ON MY WINDOW!**  
_

_Annie Cresta is blocked from Delly The Sandwich's Profile  
_

_**Finnick Odair: ANNIE, NNOOO! Wait, how come I wasn't blocked from your profile?**  
_

_**Delly The Sandwich: Because ur a cutie! We are all alone now, HOTTIE!  
**_

_Finnick Odair has left the conversation  
_

_**Delly The Sandwich: OH! THAT WAS JUST PLAIN RUDE AND MEAN!**_

* * *

_** I hope you like this chapter! Please review! I really want more reviews! Here are 2 questions:  
**_

_**Who should Katniss STALK next?  
**_

_**Who should Delly STALK next?  
**_


	4. The Lemonade Stand

_**Hello people! I'm back once again and I am here to post a new chapter as you can see. I love both of your ideas, but I want to post this first. Expect a new chapter tomorrow! PROMISE! **_

_**Without further Adieu, (lolz)  
**_

* * *

_**Katniss Everdeen  
**_**  
** Today is a very hot day in District 12! I feel like skinny-dipping in the lake right now, but I'm afraid that I will fart and all of the fish will die... That's a nice way to eliminate a food-source!

Right now, I decided to take a break from STALKING everyone on Facebook. I don't feel like stalking anyone on a HOT day!

Maybe, that STUPID DELLY would do that!

As I head towards my crummy-old-house, I saw Prim selling ice-cold lemonade! Her table was made out of rotten boards which she stole from the floor in my house. How cheap is that? Oh well, with the money she is making right now, Prim is going to buy new floor-boards!

"Hey, Prim! Can you give me a cup of lemonade?" I asked.

"Fifty cents please!" Prim replies.

"Hey! Not fair! I'm your sister here! I work hard all day and I am the one who provides our family!" I scream.

"So? All you do is STALK Peeta and the others all day!" Prim retorts.

"I EXPECT TO COME HOME TO A CRACKLING WARM FIRE AND A NICE FOOT MASSAGE! Is that very hard to ask for?" I shriek.

"Fifty cents!" Prim says.

"OH THAT'S IT!"

I grab a cup of lemonade and I gulp it down thirstily. "Fifty cents!" Prim says calmly.

"NNOOO!" I yell. I pull out my blow gun and I shoot Prim in the neck. She falls to the ground unconscious. Knowing that she is knocked out, I drink all of the lemonade and I drop a penny into the glass jar.

"That was your tip!" I chirp.

I went into the living room and I started watching TV.

5 hours pass and I was waiting anxiously for Prim to wake up! Boy, she better not be making out with Rory again! I stepped out of the house and I saw Prim lying on the ground. SHE HAS BEEN LAYING THERE FOR 5 FREAKING HOURS!

I quickly pull out my blow gun because I have a special dart that wakes a person/animal up.

Before I could blow, a flash of white appears on the blow gun. It was a note!

Was it a love note from Gale? Peeta?

I started reading the note which only had two words.

**_Horse Tranquilizer_****_  
_**

"OMG! THIS BLOW GUN IS ONLY FOR 400lb HORSES! Prim is only 250lbs? 372lbs? Oh wait, she only weighs 70lbs!

I finally realize there is NO way to save Primrose Everdeen. She is now dead. Oh well! I dump Prim's body in the trash can and I watched 12 hours of "The Oprah Winfrey Show".

"Oh, Oprah! You are so silly!" I exclaim to the TV.

All of a sudden, I heard a little girl's giggle. What the heck was that! I instinctively reach for my blow gun, but it wasn't tucked in my pocket anymore. I grabbed the broken mockingjay pin from the couch. It would have been more deadly, but I sat on it... Darn you, FAT BUTT!

I quickly stood up.

"I HAVE A BROKEN MOCKINGJAY PIN AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE IT!" I scream.

No one replies. I realize that I am being silly.

I decided to go to sleep. Maybe, watching 12 hours of Oprah was a nightmare!

Another hour has passed and I was aware of the presence of another person in this room. Shudder!

Suddenly, I found myself throwing punches everywhere!

My fist collides with a soft face. I felt like I punched Octavia's plump body!

_"Her body is so_ soft..."_ I thought._

_SHATTER!_

I heard the sound of glass shattering. I saw a tiny dark figure falling out of the window.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!" shouts the tiny dark figure.

The scream sound a lot like Prim. Wait, could that be her?

OH WAIT! PRIM IS DEAD! THAT COULD NOT BE HER AT ALL!

I decided to watch TV once again!

I turned it on and I watched 12 hours of "Chelsea Lately"!

Without me knowing this, Prim was standing behind me holding my blow gun.

Prim blows and a dart finds my neck...

* * *

_**So we all come to the point where the hero will stop Katniss and Delly from STALKING everyone of Facebook! Will Primrose Everdeen succeed or will she FAIL and will be STALKED for the rest of her life?**_

_**Well! I hope all of you people like this chapter! Isn't this a surprise? Don't you love me? Like I said, EXPECT A CHAPTER TOMORROW! THIS TIME, I WILL USE ONE OF YOUR IDEAS!  
**_

_**I have two questions for you!  
**_

_**1: What was the funniest part of this story that you have read so far?  
**_

_**2: Do you like my new book cover for this story?  
**_


	5. The Power of Friendship!

_**Katniss Everdeen**_

I appear in a large pink room. The whole entire place is filled with stuffed animals, rainbows, stuffed-unicorns, and all kinds of girly things.

I try moving my arms around, but they wouldn't budge. I look down to find myself all tied up.

All of a sudden, my stomach rumbles as always. I scan the whole entire room, hoping for something to eat!

A giant chocolate sugar cookie was on my left. I decided to eat it.

I lean my body closer to the cookie, I could possibly pick up the cookie by using my mouth.

Surprisingly, the cookie was smelly and it was all liquidy and soggy.

"I wouldn't eat that if I were you!" a squeaky voice says.

I don't listen to the voice. It wants me to starve to death!

I ate the chocolate sugar cookie. It was all slimy and it was hard to get down.

"You are so stupid! That cookie was the POOP of BUTTERCUP!" the unknown voice says.

I instantly start gagging and I tried to puke the poop out of my system.

Unfortunately, the puke landed on a little girl's shoes.

Primrose Everdeen's shoes...

"EWWW! THAT IS NASTY!" Prim wails.

Prim lays on the puke covered floor and starts banging it with her fists. She seemed like a spoiled brat.

"PRIM! HOW DARE YOU TIE ME UP! UNTIE ME!" I hiss.

Prim starts banging the floor. She glares at me.

"No can do!"

Every part of me wants to kill her in the most violent way.

If I only had my blow gun...

"I have to end your reign of terror!" Prim declares.

"YOU CAN'T STALK PEOPLE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!"

"KATNISS, GET A BOYFRIEND AND HAVE FUN!"

"STALKING IS FUN!" I declare.

Prim face palms. "STALKING ISN'T FUN KATNISS! ONLY A PSYCHO WOULD DO THAT!"

"Yeah, I know right! Did you see Nightmare on Elm Street? Freddy was funny as hell! He was also good at stalking!"

"THAT ISN'T THE POINT, KATNISS!" Prim shrieks. "Can you please give up on STALKING?" Prim asked innocently.

I saw that she wasn't kidding. I saw the serious expression on her face. I decided to give up on stalking...

Or would I?

"Okay! Fine! You have to untie me first!" I say dreadfully.

"YAY!" Prim says excitingly.

Prim pulls out a knife and slices the ropes.

I was finally free! Free as a bird!

An evil grin spreads across my face.

Prim gives me a worried look.

"Are you okay, Katniss?"

I don't reply.

I pick up the little girl and I chuck her against the wall. Prim lets out a huge wail.

I break into a run.

Prim might run after me with that knife. Darn it! I should have taken her knife!

Finally, I hide behind a stack of crates.

They were filled with knives, explosives, and automatic machine guns.

I didn't grab one of those precious weapons because I'm afraid I will appear desperate.

I whip out my cell-phone and I try to call Gale.

One ring... Two rings... 3 RINGS!

"JESUS, GALE PICK UP THE PHONE!" I scream.

I instantly clamp my hand over my mouth. I don't want Prim to find me.

"OH, KATNISS! Where are you? I got chocolate!" Prim says in a evil demonic voice.

Oh gosh... CHOCOLATE! I NEED CHOCOLATE!

Finally, Gale picks up the phone.

"Hello? Madge? Is that you! OMG, YOU HAVE FINALLY CALLED ME!" Gale shrieks.

"MADGE? IT'S ME GALE! IT'S KATNISS! COME SAVE ME! PRIM WANTS TO KILL ME! " I shout.

Silence is only heard through the phone.

"Can't come to the phone right now! Please leave me a message! BEEP!" Gale says in a little girl's voice.

"ANSWER THE PHONE! I KNOW IT'S YOU GALE!" I say angrily.

"Okay, fine! You got me! I don't want to talk to you Katniss! All you do is STALK people all the time!"

"Gale... You hurt my feelings! I thought you were my best friend!" I say, feeling hurt.

"UGH! FINE, I WILL SAVE YOUR BUTT!" Gale mutters.

"OH, KATNISS! WANNA PLAY A GAME?" Prim shrieks while poking her head through a large hole.

The line goes dead...

Suddenly, a window shatters. Gale pops out of the broken window and he comes to save me.

With his beefy hand, Gale manages to shove Prim against the water cooler.

The giant jug of water slams on the ground and all of the water spills into ground.

A small stream has reached a riding lawn mower. To my horror, the riding lawn mower comes to life and it ran over Primrose Everdeem. Blood, intestines, and vital organs fly in the air.

"YAY! PRIM IS DEAD" I cheer.

Or is she?

Surprisingly, Prim's red heart pops into the palms of my hands. It was still beating...

"For you!" I say as I hand Gale the red beating heart. Prim's vibrating heart resembles the love between us.

Gale's hand trembles and he tosses the heart over his shoulder.

"Okay! There! I SAVED your life once again. May I go home now?" Gale says.

"NO! YOU MUST HELP ME WITH THIS LIST!"

Gale groans.

"DON'T BE LIKE THAT GALE! YOU MUST HELP ME STALK AT LEAST ONE PERSON!" I say.

"Who should we stalk?" Gale demands.

"Delly Cartwright!" I say in a fierce tone.

"THROUGH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP, WE SHOULD TEAM UP AND STALK DELLY!" I declare.

"Oh, SHUT UP!" Gale snaps.

_**Delly Cartwright**_

Okay! Today, I am going to STALK Finnick Odair! I can imagine him dancing in super tight undies!

Maybe, he is dancing to "Sexy and I Know It"!

After stalking Finnick, I will probably have enough time to STALK Rue!

I was in the Train Station once again. I saw a fat woman standing in front of me.

A yellow ticket was sticking out of her pockets The yellow ticket read the number four!

Good! I don't feel like paying once again!

As my fingers pinched the yellow paper, a fat hand smacks my face.

"HAW DARE YA STEAL MA TICKET!" the fat woman says.

"GIVE ME YOUR TICKET!" I scream.

I tackled the fat woman to the ground.

I sink my teeth into her fleshy meaty arms. All of the fats drained into my mouth.

_"Yummy! She tastes like butter!__" _I thought.

The woman screams in pain as I roll her into the train tracks.

_BAM! _The train ran over the fat woman. "YAY!" I cheer.

I give my attention to the Peacekeeper who was laughing. I gave her my ticket to District 4!

An hour passes and I finally reach District 4.

Finnick Odair lives in: _Soggy Fish Street.__ House Number "414"  
_

I found Finnick's house. It was very big too!

I pull out my sledge hammer and I shatter the window. Before I jumped inside the house, I felt like someone was following me. I turn my neck around trying to see my stalker. No one was there!

"Ehh... Delly your just being silly! No one is STALKING you! You STALK them!" I told myself.

I jumped inside the house and I quickly ran upstairs hoping to find Finnick. I saw him in his bedroom.

The Great Finnick Odair was shirtless and he was flexing his muscles in front of a mirror.

Ahhh... Finnick looks so hot! I wish I can kiss his buff body!

* * *

_**Katniss Everdeen**_

"C'mon, GALE! YOU ARE WAY TOO SLOW!" I shout.

Gale was panting as he finally caught up with me.

"THERE SHE IS! I SAW DELLY JUMP INSIDE FINNICK'S HOUSE! WE HAVE TO STALK HER!" I scream.

Gale groans as I sprinted towards Finnick's house. Instead of breaking a window, I open the door like a normal person would do.

I saw footprints on the ground. The trail leads upstairs. I can tell it is Delly's footprints because she wears dirty "SKETCHERS" shoes.

At the top of the stairs, Gale and I saw Delly stalking Finnick. Finnick was flexing his amazing tanned muscles in front of a mirror. He was mouth-watering!

* * *

_**Finnick Odair**_

I stripped off my black tank-top. I stared at myself in the mirror. I was very, VERY, very, VERY SEXY!

I had everything that a girl would want. Tanned skin, bulging biceps, a 6-PACK, and shiny green eyes!

I started flexing now. My tanned muscles were bulging in front of the mirror.

"Who is that handsome merman?" I asked myself.

Through the corner of the mirror, I saw Delly Cartwright staring at me. I grabbed my golden trident from the closet and slowly walked towards Delly. The first thing I did was slam the door against her ugly face.

"OOF!" Delly cried out as she fell down. I swung the door open and I saw a bleeding Delly.

"DON'T YOU EVER STALK ME AGAIN!" I screamed. I raised the trident over head.

"NNOO! DON'T DO IT YET! I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!" Delly shrieked.

"Ugh... What is it?" I demanded.

"YOUR SUCH A HOTTIE!" Delly said with a stupid dopey grin.

I smashed the trident against her right temple.

Delly The Sandwich lets out a chipmunk squeak and she fell unconscious. All of a sudden, I heard screaming.

The screaming belongs to Katniss Everdeen and Gale Hawthorne. The both of them had scared expressions planted on their faces and they rolled down the stairs. They were now unconscious!

* * *

**WELL! HERE IS THE CHAPTER THAT ALL OF YOU HAVE BEEN EXPECTING! PLEASE KEEP ON REVIEWING!**

**I have two questions once again!  
**

**1: Who is the best STALKER? Katniss or Delly?**

** 2: What is your favorite chapter?  
**


	6. Katniss and Gale Has Been Kidnapped!

_**Katniss Everdeen**_

My mother and I celebrated the death of Primrose Everdeen! We were sick and tired of her. So we decided to sell Prim's goat (Lady) to the pet store.

We would have enough money to buy a new sister from the orphanage! I think we are adopting a nine-year-old Russian girl named Esther! I hear she's pretty handy with a knife! Probably better than Clove!

As we approached the counter, a tall woman cuts in front of us. She chews her bubble-gum loudly which seems like bad manners.

"HOW RUDE!" I hiss.

The woman ignores my comment.

"I bought these and it tastes like shit!" The woman says while chewing her gum loudly.

The clerk stares at her with bulging eyes.

"Uhh... Ma'am! That is a large pack of dead rats! Those are supposed to be for your pet snake, NOT FOOD!".

"Well, I thought this was a grocery store!" the woman snaps.

"When did PETCO become a grocery store? NEVER!" the clerk snaps back.

The clerk punches the woman in the face and she said, "NEXT!"

After selling Prim's goat, we head over to the grocery store. Surprisingly, my mom buys a lot of carrots.

"Mom, what are the carrots for?" I demanded. "Nothing!" my Mom says nervously.

Finally, we arrive home! I raced into the kitchen and I grabbed all of the junk-food from our pantry.

I popped open a can of soda along with a bag of chips. After finishing my chips, I shovel three giant chocolate cookies into my mouth! Ahhh... DELICIOUS!

Suddenly, my Mom grabs me by the wrist and takes me to the backyard.

To my amazement, I saw an orange igloo!

"MOM, WHAT IS THAT?" I asked.

"That is an igloo made out of carrots!" my Mom says happily. I walk inside. Maybe there is a water-bed and a TV!

All I see is darkness. "Mom, where is the light switch?" I asked.

To my horror, my Mom shuts the door which was made out of carrots!

"MOM!" I shriek.

"Honey, don't be afraid! All you have to do is eat through the carrots and you will be set free!"

"But Mom! It's dark in here!" I whimper.

My Mom never replied. Oh great! I guess I must start eating through the wall of carrots if I ever want to the sunlight again!

I start grabbing each carrot one by one! I shove all of them in my mouth. I start gagging and puking!

I gasp for fresh air. The carrots are too much for me! I WANT TO SEE THE SUNLIGHT!

I start eating all of the carrots and I was finally free!

As I burst out of the hole, my Mother drags me into her truck. "Where are we going?" I demanded angrily.

Right now, I am mad! SHE MADE ME EAT CARROTS! "SHUT UP, DON'T SOUND LIKE DORA!" my mother yells.

Twenty minutes pass and her truck parks in front of the Dentist's Office.

"Why are we here?" I ask in a childish voice.

"TO GET ALL OF YOUR CAVITIES WIPED OUT AND TO STRAIGHTEN YOUR TEETH!"

Okay, that was just mean!

Suddenly, I heard the screaming of a little girl. I quickly dashed out of the waiting room and I hid inside a supply closet.

I was completely scared. Maybe, the dentists killed the little girl!

Thirty minutes pass and the door slid open. I saw my angry Mom yank me out of the closet and she spanks me.

"OUCH!" I scream.

Within a matter of seconds, I was strapped to a table. A fat dentist pulls out a sharp instrument and I start whimpering. The dentist starts taking out all of the plaque from my mouth and I start crying.

"LEETLE GAL! YA ATE TA MUCH CANDY!" the dentist says in a Jamaican accent.

"TA MUCH PLAQUE!"

"SO... HAVE YA BEEN GEWD IN SCHOOL?" the lady asks.

I don't reply.

This woman was wasting my time!

As the dentist shifts around, I saw a bloody image of a little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes in the corner!

I was very scared! I smack the dentist in the face and she falls unconscious. I grab a large knife and I run out of the little office.

I looked behind and I saw the little girl holding a blow gun! "MOM!" I cry out. A dart finds my neck and I drop to the ground.

Everything went black.

* * *

_**Gale Hawthorne**_

I pull out my bow and I aim for the squirrel. _THWOCK!_

The fat squirrel falls to the ground, dead. I rush towards the carcass and I burst into tears.

"I'M SORRY SQUIRREL! I KILLED YOU BECAUSE MY FAMILY NEEDS FOOD!" I sob.

I cradled the squirrel's body in my arms. I kissed it's nose softly. "He would make a nice stew!" I exclaim.

After many hours of sobbing and mourning over the animals I killed, I headed towards my house.

Suddenly, I heard the giggle of a little girl. It sounded creepy and demonic. I swung the door open and I burst into the house.

I heard the demonic voice once again.

DARN IT! I FORGOT TO CLOSE THE DOOR!

I started for the living room, but I tripped on my shoe laces. I fell to the ground with a loud thud!

All of the dead animals fell out of my game bag. I saw the fat squirrel's carcass staring at me. He looks so cute! I start petting it, licking it, and biting it. It would definitely make a fine stew! This little squirrel made me forget about all of my worries!

I start skinning the poor squirrel and I dropped it into a pot filled with hot water.

After letting the squirrel soak in hot water, I grabbed some spices and peppered it all over the the water. Yeah, I know what you are thinking about! Your thinking that I am too POOR to buy some spices!

Well, I did steal the spices from Greasy Sae! Poor women, she doesn't have a clue! Everybody keeps stealing from her!

I chop up some carrots and I drop it into the pot! TA-DA! I FINISHED MY STEW!

A demonic voice is heard from out of now where. I immediately grabbed my bow. I don't want to die yet!

I saw the image of a bloody little girl with blonde hair! "DON'T BE A DUMB BLONDE!" I scream.

The bloody girl shoves me to the ground. A blow gun was raised over my forehead.

I finally saw the face of the bloody girl!

"Prim..."

A dart finds my forehead.

* * *

_**Yes, Primrose Everdeen is still alive! Now she became an evil stalker and wants to torture Katniss and Gale for nearly killing her! Will someone be able to save them?  
**_

_** Anyways, I see that one of my reviewers wants more FACEBOOK chapters! I will probably write a Facebook chapter next!**_

_**There is one more thing to say! I'm very sorry for cursing on this chapter. Some of these events actually happened! You know, the part where the woman says, "I bought these and it tastes like shit!".  
**_

_**Well I found that kinda funny... XD So I was in the grocery store with my Mom and this woman appeared next to us while holding 2 packages of ham. Well, I think they expired so... YEAH! CYA!  
**_


	7. Help! Clueless Effie Is In Trouble!

_**Foxface's Profile Page**_

_**Name: Foxface (Wait! Is my name Haymitch? I honestly don't know!)  
**_

_**Age: 16  
**_

_**Sex: Female (I think I am female! Am I not? Do I have to prove it for extra credit on my Science test?)  
**_

_**Birthday: (I ACTUALLY don't know)  
**_

_**Current Location: Well, I am in the Hunger Games right now and a sponsor gave me an iPhone 4S!  
**_

_**Hometown: Uhh... Hometown... The Hospital? (That's the place where I was born!)  
**_

_**Hobbies: Staring into space, picking my nose, doing TESTS, and doing HOMEWORK!**_

* * *

_**Foxface's Wall  
**_

_**Comments:  
**_

_**Finnick Odair: Hey, Rue!  
**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: Hiya, FINNICK! :D  
**_

_**Finnick Odair: What do you wanna talk about?  
**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: CHEER LEADING! BCUZ, I JOINED THE CHEER LEADING TEAM! IT'S A FAB SPORT!  
**_

_**Finnick Odair: Ok... Gratz!  
**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: Uhh... Wat does "GRATZ" mean?  
**_

_**Foxface: It means "Congratulations". Am I right, Finnick?  
**_

_**Finnick Odair: Yes, you are Foxy!  
**_

_Cato The Sexy Playboy and Peeta Mellark join the conversation  
_

_**Cato The Sexy Playboy: FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME PITA, CHEER LEADING ISN'T A SPORT!**  
_

_**Peeta Mellark: IT'S PEETA! YES IT IS! UR SUPPOSED TO SUPPORT ME, CATHY!  
**_

_Rue The Mockingjay and Finnick Odair LIKES this comment_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: PITA, your joining cheer leading?**  
_

_**Peeta Mellark: Yup! I can't wait to wear one of those short skirts! :D  
**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: Okay...  
**_

_**Finnick Odair: ...  
**_

_**Cato The Sexy Playboy: ...  
**_

_Johanna Mason joins the conversation  
_

_**Johanna Mason: Hey, guys! Watcha' talkin about?**  
_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: We r debating if Cheer Leading is a SPORT! AND YES, THE ANSWER IS YES!  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: speakin of cheer leading, I...  
**_

_**Finnick Odair: I, wat?  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: I JOINED CHEER LEADING!  
**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: (GASP)  
**_

_**Finnick Odair: (GASP)  
**_

_**Cato The Sexy Playboy: (GASP)  
**_

_**Peeta Mellark: (GASP)  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: Oh shut up people!  
**_

_**Foxface: (GASP) Johanna, u r TOO UGLY to be in the Cheer Leading Squad!  
**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: How about we change the subject? Did u know that Effie still plays in the shower?**_

_**Johanna Mason: WTH! AFTER LIVING 34 YEARS OF LIVING HER LIFE, she still plays in the SHOWER!  
**_

_Effie Trinket joins the conversation_

_**Effie Trinket: RUE! I TOLD YOU TO KEEP THAT A SECRET! U PLAY IN THE SHOWER TOO!**  
_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: Heehee! G2G guys!  
**_

_Rue The Mockingjay has left the conversation  
_

_**Effie Trinket: RUE! NO! GET YOUR LITTLE BUTT BACK OVER HERE!**  
_

_**Finnick Odair: Effie, you do realize that Rue can't hear u anymore, right?  
**_

_Rose joins the conversation:  
_

_**Rose: I like cuddling, I like bowling, I like airports, I like flowers, but not I like I am going to CUT my Mama, MY MOM, I like my Mom, My Mom, I LIKE Mom, lalalalala la la lalala lalala!  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: Oh god... Someone kill me right now!  
**_

_**Rose: I would love to, my darling... But first, I must STALK YOU!  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: She's kidding right?  
**_

_**Effie Trinket: Oh dear, it looks like we have a violent child here! Thank God, I'm not getting a child!  
**_

_Effie Trinket has left the conversation_

_**Foxface: Goodbye, HONEY!**  
_

_**Cato The Sexy Playboy: Now Foxface chooses this time to talk!  
**_

* * *

**_Effie Trinket's POV_**

UGH! That disgusting little demonic child was on Facebook! Kids should be under adult supervision while using Facebook or any other kind of website!

After going on Facebook for nine hours, I decided to take a shower! YAY!

I stripped off my heavy gaudy makeup, awesome clothing, and my beautiful wig!

As I step into the shower, I pull out my toy-trains, barbie dolls, and stuffed animals. I throw all of my little trinkets into the shower. Do you want to know why? BECAUSE I'M GOING TO PLAY IN THE SHOWER!

In a weird way, I'm kind of similar to Primrose Everdeen. Oh God, bless the poor child's soul! I heard that she was run over by a riding lawn mower!

I decided to play Prim's death scene! YAY!

I pull out a barbie doll that looked like Primrose! Then I pulled out my Katniss and Gale barbie dolls!

Oops! I forgot something!

I jump out of the shower naked while I run to the garage. I NEED MY RIDING LAWN MOWER! "KEY IGNITION!" I squeaked.

As I run over doors, books, statues of Finnick Odair (I cried when I did that!), and card-board cuts of me, I finally reach the bathroom!

Now, how am I going get my lawn mower inside the giant shower?

I will just drive it inside!

I drove inside the shower and I fell off the mower! Perfect!

Now I started acting Prim's death scene through my dolls!

Oh! wait! I dropped my dolls and I turned on the shower! YAY! COLD WATER! Geez, I forgot to turn on the radio! Luckily, the song that was playing right now was "Sexy and I Know It!".

Now, I was able to play Prim's death scene.

With my hands, I controlled the Katniss barbie doll!

"OH GALE! COME SAVE ME!" I said talking through the barbie doll.

I made the Prim barbie poke it's head through my toes! "OH, KATNISS! WANNA PLAY A GAME!" I screamed in a creepy little voice. (I was pretending that my toes were the crates!)

I made the Gale barbie jump out of a small tissue box which I pretended that it was a window.

I lifted the Gale barbie's arm and I made it shove the Prim barbie against a small water bottle. The water spilled all over the place, but you can't tell since the shower is on!

Now was the time for Prim's death!

I hopped on my riding lawn mower and I ran over the Prim barbie. Prim's head popped out of it's body and I don't even know where the head went! YAY! I FINISHED PRIM'S DEATH SCENE! I turned off the shower.

I finally take in my surroundings.

My bathroom was destroyed! Oh well... I am so stinking rich that I could actually adopt a new bathroom!

I will clean up the mess later!

I wrapped the towel around my body and I headed out of the wrecked room.

Suddenly, I hear a demonic chuckle. I whipped my around looking for the source of the sound. I found a bloody little girl with blonde hair while holding a blow gun. I recognize her!

"PRIM! NNOOOO!" I scream.

The dart finds my neck and I fall to the dirty floor.

Prim kisses me good night.

* * *

**_Well... This chapter sounds a little dirty! XD_**

**_Now, I sound like a stalker myself!  
_**

**_Don't worry! I'm only 11 years old and I'm turning 12 next month!  
_**

**_Don't I have a twisted mind?  
_**

**_REVIEW! PLEASE REVIEW! MY GOAL IS 100 REVIEWS!  
_**


	8. The Careers' Facebook Conversation

_**Clove The Knife's Profile Page**_

_**Name: Clove The Knife  
**_

_**Age: 15  
**_

_**Sex: Man-Lady  
**_

_**Birthday: September 28, 2471  
**_

_**Current Location: Sitting on my bed while polishing my knives  
**_

_**Hobbies: Polishing my knives, cutting people's steak with my knives, talking about my knives**_

* * *

_**Clove The Knife's Wall  
**_

_**Comments:  
**_

_**Marvelous Marvel: Hello there my darlings...  
**_

_**Glimmer The Sparkly Pony: HIYA, MARVELOUS! DO YOU LIKE MARVEL? I'M INTO SUPER HEROES!  
**_

_**Marvelous Marvel: -_-  
**_

_**Cato The Sexy Playboy: Hey, peeps!  
**_

_**Clove The Knife: Cato, u should really change ur screen name! U AIN'T SEXY!  
**_

_**Cato The Sexy Playboy: I am SEXY... I'm the only sex symbol left in the world!  
**_

_**Clove The Knife: FINNICK ODAIR IS THE ONLY SEX SYMBOL LEFT IN THE WORLD!  
**_

_**Glimmer The Sparkly Pony: FINNICK ODAIR IS THE ONLY SEX SYMBOL LEFT IN THE WORLD!  
**_

_**Glimmer The Sparkly Pony: COMPUTER JINX, CLOVE!  
**_

_**Clove The Knife: SHUT UP GLIMMER!  
**_

_**Marvelous Marvel: LOL! TEEHEE! HAHAHA! CLOVE U R SO FUNNY!  
**_

_**Clove The Knife: I don't even know why I hang out with u guys... -_-  
**_

_**Cato The Sexy Playboy: U hang out with us bcuz of my sexiness!  
**_

_**Clove The Knife: R u forgetting something? CHANGE UR FREAKING SCREEN NAME!  
**_

_Cato The Sexy Playboy changes his screen name to Cato The Sexy Monstrous Killing Machine  
_

_**Clove The Knife: UGH! ALL OF U PEOPLE R GAY!**  
_

_Clove The Knife has left the conversation  
_

_**Marvelous Marvel: Wow, suddenly we are gay...**  
_

_Everybody has left the conversation  
_

_Rose joins the conversation  
_

_**Rose: OH CLOVE! I'M COMING FOR YOU!**_

* * *

_**Clove's POV**  
_

Ugh! Today, I am very disgusted! The so-called Careers were being stupid online!

It's a good thing I logged off.

I shut down the computer and I sat on my bed. I pull out one of my precious knives and I start stroking it.

"Oh, my darling! I missed you so much! Please forgive me! I didn't mean to leave you!" I say to the knife.

I start licking the beautiful blade. I was savoring the moment. Should I marry this knife?

"I love you too, Clove!" a voice says. I look down to see a knife lying on the cold floor. I drop my favorite blade and I pick up the sharp instrument.

"KNIVES CAN TALK? I LOVE YOU TOO KNIFE!" I scream.

I hug the blade for a very long time.

That's when I hear the demonic chuckle. I throw a knife at a bloody little girl with blonde hair. The knife pins the girl's clothing to the wall.

"CAN'T YOU SEE WE ARE BUSY OVER HERE!" I shriek.

I start smooching the knife for a moment, but the bloody girl smacks it out of my hand!

"CLOVE! SAVE YOURSELF!" the sharp instrument screams.

I quickly ran towards the knife.

"KNIFE! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!" I sob.

A hand places itself on my shoulder.

I whip around, staring daggers at the girl who murdered my soon-to-be-husband!

"WHY DID YOU KILL MY KNIFE!" I shout.

The girl pulls out a blow gun.

"DON'T YOU DARE!"

I throw a knife at the girl. It lodges itself in her neck. No blood comes out.

The girl keeps on walking towards me.

I chuck a knife at the girl's head.

I throw another knife at her leg. She keeps on walking.

Soon, I run out of my precious throwing knives! All of my knives were sticking out of her neck, legs, head, arms, stomach, and arm pit.

A dart finds my neck.

"HAHA! I'M STILL AWAKE!"

I drop to the ground. I finally realized who the little girl was.

Primrose Everdeen...


	9. Glimmer's New Job

_**Glimmer's POV**_

I have been hugging this tree for three hours! I really need to get out!

Are you wondering why I'm stuck in this mess? Well, Cato was practicing throwing knives so he could impress Clove. So he stole a couple of knives from her and started training.

The next thing I knew, a knife was sticking out of the top of the tree! Cato told me what happened. He was trying throw Clove's second favorite knife at a bird that was sitting in it's nest. Then, he instructed me to get it.

I was like NO WAY! But he started hissing at me like a cat so I decided to do it. As I started towards the tree, Cato told me to drop my expensive alligator bag on the ground.

Again, I was like NO WAY!

Before he could rip the bag out my hands, I started climbing. It was very hard. My left arm was doing all the work while my right arm was carrying my expensive bag.

I found a small ledge where I can stand. If I bent down, the ledge will break and I will tumble to the ground! I can't afford to be filthy!

There you go! That's my story on how I got up on this tree!

Finally, Cato came back with a cup of ice-cold lemonade.

He waved at me. I decided to wave back.

I lifted my left arm which was wrapped around the tree so I could wave at Cato.

To my misfortune, I fell off the ledge and I fell onto the ground.

"AH! MY CONTACTS! MY NEW RED DRESS! MY BEAUTIFUL PURSE!" I shrieked.

The handsome guy dumps all of the lemonade at the top of my head.

"Did you get the knife?" he demanded.

"Get what?" I asked.

"CLOVE'S KNIFE!" Cato yelled.

"You didn't have to yell!" I cried out. Tears streaming down my face.

"OH MY GOD! MY MAKEUP! MY MASCARA!" I screamed.

"SHUT UP YOU DUMB BLONDE! GO GET THE KNIFE!"

"NO! I DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO DO THAT! I NEED TO GET TO MY NEW JOB!" I shouted.

Cato stares at me. Apparently, he was surprised. Then, he burst into laughter.

"Oh Glimmer! That was an AWESOME joke!" Cato laughed.

"That's not a joke! I really have a job! I work at the new ice cream shop!" I say.

I said goodbye then I headed towards my car. Oh wait. I don't have a car!

"CATO! DRIVE ME TO MY WORK!" I commanded.

The blonde-boy stared at me. Then, we headed towards his blue mustang. "Let me drive!" I say happily.

"No thank you, Glimmer! A blonde girl behind a steering-wheel is an airbag!"

I stared at him wondering if that was an insult. No, it probably wasn't.

I said a question that mattered deeply to me. I loved this guy.

"Cato, what do you see when you look into my sparkly green eyes?" I asked.

"The back of your head!" Cato retorts.

"JUST DRIVE!"

After twenty minutes of driving, we finally arrived at the ice cream shop.

Cato told me he has an errand to run so he goes to Best Buy.

The manager stares at me with a disappointed look on her face.

"Oh Glimmer! You were supposed to wear your uniform!" the woman says.

"You mean the one where you have to wear a cow? No thanks!"

The woman glares at me and tells me to get to work.

I placed my purse on the counter and I started inspecting my nails. Each a different color.

Then, I thought hard about my job. It was pretty boring now. I was fired every time I applied for the one. One year ago, District 1 was hiring pharmacists. I decided to apply!

But then, I was fired because I kept on breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters!

I was fired from fifty-three jobs so far!

Finally, the bell rang and a person came up to me! YAY! MY FIRST CUSTOMER!

The girl said, "I want a soft serve vanilla cone!"

"OKAY!" I shout.

I went over to the ice cream dispenser and whipped out a cone. I pressed the lever down and place the cone under.

YAY! I GOT A PERFECT SWIRL!

I tried to lift the lever up, but the ice cream continued to flow down.

"OH MY GOD! TOO MUCH!"

There was too much ice cream on the cone, so I grabbed another one and started to fill it up. AGAIN! ICE CREAM CONTINUED TO FLOW DOWN!

"Are you done yet?" the girl asked, sounding annoyed.

"WAIT A SECOND!" I shouted.

I drop the cone into the trash and started using the rest.

More people came in, wanting some soft serve ice cream.

I used up thirty cones so far! My heart sinks when I grabbed the final cone. This time, I managed to get a perfect swirl. I decided to ignore the huge mess on the floor.

I gave the girl her ice cream and she gave me her money. Wow! I finally got it right!

(Except for the ice cream part!)

"WAIT, GALINDA! YOUR MILKSHAKE WILL BE HERE IN A MINUTE!" I hiss.

I quickly ran towards the machine to fill up some more ice cream in a cup.

Suddenly, I slipped on a blue puddle. My hand accidentally hits a button that says:

_TANK #1 SELF CLEAN  
_

To my horror, a huge wave of melting ice cream started flowing down the machine.

"OH MY GOD!" I shrieked

I grabbed a bucket and placed it under the machine. The bucket filled up quickly. The sweet liquid sloshed all over the floor.

People started groaning, shouting, and crying. They were waiting for a very long time for their sweet treat.

Surprisingly, everyone froze. No one even moved a muscle.

They dropped to the ground, face-flat.

_"Why is everyone planking?"_I thought.

Oh well, since is everyone is planking, I must do it too!

I lay on the ground face-flat.

A dark shadow loomed over my body. I looked up to see a little girl with knives sticking out of her body! She was covered in blood too!

"Red was SO last season!" I pointed out.

The girl raised a butcher knife over my head.

SHE'S GONNA CUT MY HEAD OFF!

I snatched the knife from her grasp and I decapitated her with a mighty swing!

Her head dropped to the ground. The girl's blue eyes stared at me. Mocking me...

I pushed the head away from me. It was too creepy!

All of a sudden, the headless corpse had risen up and shot me with a blow gun.

I dropped to the ground.

* * *

_**Glimmer The Sparkly Pony's Profile Page**_

_**Name: Glimmer (DUUHHH!)  
**_

_**Age: 18  
**_

_**Sex: Sexy Lady ;)  
**_

_**Birthday: July 4, 2468  
**_

_**Current Location: Pooper Scoopers! (It's the new ice cream shop where I work in!)  
**_

_**Hobbies: Flirting, buying clothes, traveling to District 8, and talking to my precious diamonds  
**_

* * *

_**Glimmer The Sparkly Pony's Wall  
**_

_**Comments:  
**_

_**Haymitch Abernathy: Wow... Glimmer has a job!  
**_

_**Marvelous Marvel: WAT THE HECK? GLIMMER HAS A JOB! :O  
**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: OMG! GRATZ, GLIMMER!  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: Wow. Miss Girly Girl has a job? Dis has to be interesting!  
**_

_**Cato The Sexy Monstrous Killing Machine: LMBO! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER!  
**_

_**Gloss Glossy: Glimmer can never maintain a job -_-  
**_

_**Finnick Odair: Glimmer is definitely a babe, but she's nothing goes in her noggin! :P  
**_

_**Cashmere Is Full Of Cash: WHO WANTS TO BET THAT GLIMMER WOULD FIRED WITHIN A DAY?  
**_

_**Haymitch Abernathy: OMG! I WOULD LOVE TOO!**_

_**Marvelous Marvel: likewise XD  
**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: DITO!  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: Guys, have you noticed that most of our friends haven't logged on for a week?  
**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: Nobody cares about what you say, Johanna :P  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: LOOK WHO'S TALKING!  
**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: YEAH, IT'S ME STUPID!  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: Let me repeat this once again... LOOK WHO'S TALKING!  
**_

_**Haymitch Abernathy: That's a good one Rue.  
**_

_**Finnick Odair: I'm srry Rue, but that wasn't a good one!**_

* * *

**HEY GUYS! I UPDATED, AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME? Sorry for the long wait! In order to keep this story (Rated Fiction K+) I changed LMAO into LMBO. It stands for "Laughing My Butt Off"  
**

**If you have been reading my SYOT, I will probably update tomorrow!**

**I really want to finish the story over the SUMMER, IF I UPDATE ENOUGH!  
**

**Laters!  
**

**-XxFreeOatmealxX  
**


	10. The Escape

_**Prim's POV**_

All I need to do is kidnap Marvel and I will be done with my stalking!

I hopped inside my glossy red convertible and I drove all the way to District 1.

On my way there, I saw Britney Spears driving her glossy pink convertible! Nobody can drive these cars but me! I beeped at her.  
Britney turns around and does a cut-throat motion at me.

I was so mad that I chucked a spear at Britney Spears!

The spear plunges into her stomach and she drives off a cliff and her car exploded.

"Oops! I did it again!" I screamed.

After killing Britney, I continued my drive to District 1.

Within an hour, I finally arrived at his house. Huge cameras were scattered everywhere, but I ignored it.

I heard the sound of shoes clacking and Marvel saying, "Okay ladies, lets sing our little hearts out!"

I poked my head inside and I saw Marvel dressed in a half-gold half-fuchsia dress while singing a song with the Wonder Girls.

_"I want no__body nobody, but you. I want nobody nobody, but you._  
_How can I be with another, I DON'T want any other._  
_I want nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody!  
Why are you trying to, to make me leave ya?  
I know what you're thinking. Baby, why aren't you listening?  
How can I just, just love someone else and forget you completely, when I know you still love me?"  
Telling me you're not good enough. My life with you is just too tough!  
You know it's not right, so just stop and come back boy!  
How can this be when we were meant to be?"_

I quickly ran inside the room and shot every member of the Wonder Girls with my blow gun. They fell straight to the floor, sleeping peacefully.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY PRECIOUS GIRLS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM! I AM THE GREAT MARVELOUS MARVEL!" he shrieked.

I sighed as I dumped Marvel in a potato sack, threw him back in the trunk of the car, and drove back to District 12.

I entered my old ugly house and threw the sack down the staircase which leads to the basement. That is the place where all of my slaves were staying.

Clove who was strapped to a large metal pole turned on the radio.

The song that was playing right now is "7 Things" by Miley Cyrus.

Clove started singing at the top of her lungs.

_"The seven things I hate about you! The seven things I hate about you!  
Oh you! YOUR PAIN, YOUR GAME, YOUR INSECURE! YOU LOVE ME, Y0U LIKE HER!  
You made me laugh, you made me cry. I don't know which side to buy!"_

All of a sudden a voice said, "STOP SINGING, IM THE ONE SINGING HERE AND YOUR VOICE SUCKS!"

I realized who it was, it was Miley Cyrus talking through the radio.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words don't hurt me!" Clove pouts.

"THAT'S IT!" I screamed.

I pull out my gun and blasted the radio. Then I grew a new head.

"Attention, losers! You are all here today because of Katniss Everdeen and Gale Hawthorne!"

"Your punishment will be playing tea-party with me!" I said happily.

All of them groan.

"SILENCE! PLAY WITH ME NOW! Clove sit by Mr. Chocolate Bear and Miss Ducky!"

"Glimmer and Marvel will sit by Mr. FluffyPants and the rest will sit by Hot Lips!" I commanded.

All of my slaves get up and they sit in their bright pink tables.

I pour some imaginary-tea into Gale's cup and he sips some of it.

Katniss elbows him in the stomach, "YOU IDIOT! THERE'S NO TEA IN THERE!"

Suddenly Effie and Glimmer started singing a song that I didn't like.

"U.G.L.Y You ain't got no alibi you ugly eh! Hey! You ugly!"

The window shatters and Rue pops out.

I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE STALKED AND KIDNAPPED HER!

Rue throws a molotov cocktail at my face and my new head falls out.

I grow a new head and I turn it around a 360 degree angle.

I was too late. Everybody was escaping the large broken window.

"NO! DON'T LEAVE ME!" I shrieked.

* * *

**_I know this chapter was short, but I promise Chapter 11 will be great! Please READ AND REVIEW!_**


	11. Katniss's Grandma Comes to Town

"Okay guys, I think we are far away from Prim!" Glimmer said proudly.

"GLIMMER! WE ARE IN A BAR WHICH IS ONE BLOCK AWAY! PRIM CAN RUN LIKE THE ROAD-RUNNER!" Katniss shrieked.

Suddenly Prim pops out of the window carrying a box of chocolates.

"Hey guys, I got some chocolates!" Prim said happily.

"DIE YOU KILLER!"

Glimmer picks up a cocktail and throws it at Prim's face.

"Aww. She didn't burst into flames!" Glimmer whines.

"Glimmer, honey. That isn't a molotov cocktail! This one is!" Rue said as she pulled out a molotov and chucked it at Glimmer's face.

The beautiful blond screamed as she burst into flames. Rue ran towards Prim and punched her in the stomach.

Prim bent down and literally vomited a colorful rainbow.

"ENOUGH!" a crackled old voice said.

An old lady popped out of nowhere while carrying a whip.

"Can't you see that Prim is turning back to normal? Prim has vomited a rainbow! And to forget all of the kidnappings that Prim has ever done, let's celebrate by going to a restaurant! Food is on me!"

"Who the heck are you?" Marvel demanded.

"My name is Sunflower Everdeen! I am Katniss Everdeen's GRANDMA!" the old woman said proudly.

Katniss's jaw dropped. She was surprised.

"Stop lookin at me like that! Let's go eat somewhere!"

Everybody cheered as they marched out of the bar while Glimmer was still burning.

* * *

**_The Restaurant_**

"CLOVE! STOP CUTTING RANDOM PEOPLE'S STEAKS!" Sunflower shouted.

Clove turned around and stuck her tongue out. She continued to cut people's steaks.

"PRIM, STOP ORDERING ICE CREAM!"

Prim continued to order strawberry ice cream.

"MARVEL! STOP DANCING ON THE TABLE!"

Marvel didn't listen and he started doing the chicken dance.

"WHERE'S MAH FOOD!" Posy screeched.

"It didn't come yet, honey!"

"I WANT MAH FOOD!" Posy demanded.

The four year old started banging her fists on the table and she bodyslammed it.

"GLIMMER, STOP ADDING FORTY-FIVE POUNDS OF MAKEUP ON YOUR UGLY FACE!"

Glimmer started to cry, "OH NO! MY MASCARA IS RUNNING!"

The dumb blonde added another ninety pounds of makeup on her face.

_"I am beautiful, no matter what they say! Words can't bring me down! I am beautiful, in every single way!  
__Yes, words can't bring me down Ohh, nooo So don't bring me down today!"_ Glimmer silently weeped.

Sunflower sighed as she reached for the last doughnut. Too bad Katniss reached over for it too!

"Um... Sun, that doughnut is mine!"

"No it ain't! Dat doughnut is mine!"

"I SAID THAT DOUGHNUT IS MINE!" Katniss screamed.

She pulled out her bow and arrow and shot Sunflower in the stomach.

"Is that all you got?" Sun asked as she pulled out the arrow.

"YOU CAN'T HANDLE WHAT I GOT!" Katniss spat.

Sunflower was getting very angry. The yellow flower that was placed over heart started to wilt. Then the flower burst into flames.

Sun whipped out her own weapon. It was a bow and arrow made out of real gold!

"BOW DOWN TO YOUR QUEEN!" Sun shouted as she aimed over Katniss's head.

"NEVER!" Katniss squeaked.

The sixteen year old crawled under Sun's legs and kicked her in the back.

"Sonny, you made me fall on my own pee-puddle!"

Within a matter of seconds, Sunflower flew high in the air and began shooting golden arrows at Katniss.

"HA! YOU DIDN'T MASTER THE DOUBLE ARROW TECHNIQUE, KATNISS!"

Two arrows plunged into Katniss's body.

"TAKE THIS!"

Sunflower fired two throwing knives at Katniss.

The teenager said, "GRANDMA! THE KNIFE THROWING GENE ISN'T IN OUR FAMILY!"

Both knives pin Katniss to the wall.

Sunflower ran after the vanilla frosted doughnut and began munching on it happily.

After the whole gang was done eating, Sun payed the bill.

IT WAS $20576.78

* * *

_**Rue The Mockingjay's Profile Page**_

_**Name: Rue The Mockingjay**_

_**Age: (Mommy told me not to tell anyone my age!)**_

_**Sex: Female**_

_**Birthday: (Mommy told me not to tell anyone my birthday!)**_

_**Current Location: (Mommy told me not tell anyone where I am right now!)**_

_**Hobbies: Eating, flying, and singing**_

* * *

_**Rue The Mockingjay's Wall**_

_**Comments:**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: Hey guys... I just dumped Rory Hawthorne...**_

_**Johanna Mason: Aww... He's a cute kid! WHY DID U BREAK UP WITH HIM!**_

_**Gale Hawthorne: UGH, RUE! RORY SAID YOU WERE CHEATING ON HIM WITH CHUCK NORRIS!**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: Woodchuck...**_

_**Katniss Everdeen: WAT! YOU CHEATED ON HIM!**_

_**Primrose Everdeen: OMG! U STOLE MY CRUSH! RUE YOUR UR SUCH A BITCH!**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: I AM NOT A FEMALE DOG! IMMA FEMALE MOCKINGJAY!**_

_**Glimmer The Sparkly Pony: Rue is an independent black woman that needs NO man!**_

_**Johanna Mason: Glimmer, that was totally racist!**_

_Glimmer The Sparkly Pony is blocked from Rue The Mockingjay's Profile_

* * *

**Well the chapter is now done! Chapter 12 is about Katniss going to the Hunger Games so she could volunteer for Prim! Maybe she won't...**

**I suggest telling your friends about this story because there is going to be so many chapters!**

**Just to let you know, I have nothing against African Americans! I have a best friend who is African too!**

**And the part of the Bitch thing, I don't mean it as an insult. I only mean it in the female dog way!**

**I also have 2 questions for all of you!**

**1. What was the funniest part in Chapter 11?**

**2. What was the funniest part in this Chapter?**


	12. Posy's First Day of School

"Posy, wake up! It's the first day of school and you don't wanna be late!" my mother said.

I slowly climbed out of bed and pulled out my whip.

I am not the girl who people think I should be. I am not a weak little helpless person. I CAN KICK BUTT!

"Bow down to your Queen!" I shouted in a high-pitched voice.

I whipped her tush and she screamed in pain.

"First, I wanna go on Facebook!" I declared.

"No Posy, you will be late!" my mother cried out.

"Oh shut up! Guards, send mah mother to the dungeon!"

A group of District 12 weaklings came and threw my mother in the basement.

I pulled out my laptop and logged onto Facebook.

* * *

_**Posy The Rosy's Profile Page  
**_

_**Name: Posy The Rosy (Duh! Wat else?)  
**_

_**Age: 4 (Like District 4! Finnick's a hottie!)  
**_

_**Sex: Male (Um... Does male mean girl? Glimmer told me female means boy!)  
**_

_**Birthday: (I don't remember! Srry!)  
**_

_**Current Location: I think I'm in my bedroom typing on Facebook...  
**_

_**Hobbies: Hobbies? Is that a long word for the Hob? The Hob is gross! It's full of dead naked people!**_

* * *

_**Posy The Rosy's Wall  
**_

_**Comments:  
**_

_**Posy The Rosy: Hey guys and gals! Welcome to my Facebook Wall!  
**_

_**Finnick Odair: Posy, I'm sorry but your a spoiled brat!  
**_

_**Rory Hawthorne: Agreed.  
**_

_**Haymitch Abernathy: Your such an evil little gurl...  
**_

_**Effie Trinket: THAT IS MAHOGONY, HAYMITCH! SHE'S JUST A LITTLE GIRL!  
**_

_**Haymitch Abernathy: She stole my beer... :(  
**_

_**Posy The Rosy: LAY OFF THE BOOZE, HAYMITCH THE LOSER!  
**Finnick Odair LIKES this comment!  
_

_**Haymitch Abernathy: Finnick, you traitor! :(  
**_

_**Effie Trinket: THAT IS MAHOGANY, POSY!  
**_

_**Haymitch Abernathy: SEE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!**_

* * *

I threw my laptop out the window. Who cares if I damaged it! My mother will get me a new one!

I sighed as I walked all the way to my school.

As soon as I opened the door, loud music started blaring all over the place.

I saw Glimmer sitting on a large golden throne and she was wearing a large pair of dark sunglasses. She also wore a large gold chain too! Even my classmates started sourrounding her.

"_Teach me how to dougie, teach me how to dougie! Everybody love me, everybody love me! YOU AIN'T MESSIN WITH MAH DOUGIE!" _Glimmer sang.

"SWAG! SWAG! SWAG ON YOU!"

"Hello everybody! My name is Miss Dawson and I will be your Kindergarten Teacher for this year!"

After learning about boring old math, reading, naptime, pooping, and farting, we were given homework.

"Everybody, your homework will be a coloring sheet! It will be due for tomorrow!"

"AWW! I HATE COLORING! I SUCK AT THAT SUBJECT!" Glimmer whined.

Glimmer raised a sparkly red crayon over her paper and became deep in thought.

"How do I color?", Glimmer thought.

"Hey little girl, do my coloring homework and get a juice box!" Glimmer commanded.

The little girl nodded her tiny head and she picked up a juice box from her backpack.

She handed it to Glimmer and she began sipping it right away.

The little girl then colored the picture of Barney with the red sparkly crayon.

* * *

_**I'm very sorry for the SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT chapter, but the Reapings will begin on the next one! **_

_**Please R&R and tell me what you think!  
**_


	13. The Reapings

_**Katniss Everdeen's POV**_

I wake up in the morning seeking out for Prim's warmth.

Dang, where is this girl?! I immediately sat up. Since Prim had just finished potty training, she was probably visiting every bathroom in District 12 and showing off her new skills. The thought creeps me out.

I started to hear the sound of running water.

I slowly crept out of my bed and I grabbed my machine gun.

I tiptoed towards the bathroom where I saw Prim washing her hands in the small urinal.

"PRIM, NO!" I screamed. I quickly shoved her out of the way, flushing the urinal.

"What were you thinking?!" I shrieked.

"I was just washing my hands!" Prim sobbed.

My expression softens. After all, this girl is tiny and she can barely reach the sink.

"Fine. Let's go back to bed."

I lead Prim towards her bed and she asks me lift her up and put her on top of her bed.

"Do it yourself, lazy butt." I snapped.

Prim places her hands on her hips and taps her foot like the hokey-pokey.

"Fine." I say grudgingly.

I lifted Prim high in the air, preparing to slam her against the bed. Unfortunately, I miscalculated and I accidentally threw her out the window.

"Oops..."

I ran to my front lawn to see Prim sprawled on the ground. Her blond hair splayed everywhere.

"Katniss." my sister said softly.

"Yes." I squeaked.

"Can you sing me a song? Our song?"

I nodded my head. I had to sing our favorite song. For Prim.

"_IT_Z _FRI__DAY, FRIDAY GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY!"_

"KATNISS, NO NOT THAT SONG!" Prim screamed.

"Oh yeah! I remember our song now!" Katniss squeaked.

"U.G.L.Y YOU AIN'T GO NOT ALIBI, YOU UGLY, EH HEY, YOU UGLY!"

Prim started screaming and crying.

"You ungrateful little brat!" I sneered.

Since Prim doesn't want to hang around, I've decided to hang around with Gale.

"Hey bestie!" I screamed.

"Heyy bestie!" Gale yelled back.

We both bumped our hips together and Gale said, "You look gorgie, my darling."

See? This is why Gale and I are friends! He knows all about fashion and he constantly compliments me.

"So are we ready to give some strawberries to Madge, go fishing, and etc?"

"Let's go pick strawberries first." I say with an evil grin.

I grab a basket and I start filling it with strawberries from a green patch of vegetation.

Then we head over to Madge's house.

"What do you want?" Madge said sharply.

How rude! We were just delivering strawberries to her father and she was being rude!

"I came here for this!" I yelled as I dumped the basket of sweet red fruit on top of Madge.

I kicked her in the stomach then I slammed the door on her face.

"C'mon, we gotta get to the reapings!"

The both of us split up and I cut in front of dopey people on line.

"Finger please."

I gave her my middle finger then she poked it with a needle.

"OUCH!" I screamed.

"Wimp." the Capitol Lady muttered.

She grabbed my finger and she slammed it against a notebook full of blood prints.

After that was taken care of, I headed towards the four year old section. Surprisingly no one was there. I guess I am the only four year old to compete in the Hunger Games!

"Welcome to the 74th Hunger Games!" Effie Trinket trills.

"Shut up, ugly!" a girl called out.

"I'M NOT UGLY!" Effie screamed.

"Get to the point already!" a boy shouted.

"FINE!"

Effie ran towards the globe and she tossed it on the ground. The slips of paper were scattered all over the stage.

"I GOT SOMETHING! I GOT SOMETHING!" Prim squeaked.

She ripped the tape away and she read the name of the poor unlucky girl.

"Primrose Everdeen!"

I burst into laughter.

The once evil girl gave me the death glare and I laughed even harder.

"VOLUNTEER FOR ME!" Prim snarled in a demonic voice.

A blowgun magically popped into her hand.

"YOU HAVE THE POWER OF CONJURATION!?" I gasped.

"I SAID VOLUNTEER FOR ME!" Prim squeaked while training the gun on Katniss's head.

"FINE, I VOLUNTEER!" I shrieked.

"Looks like we have a volunteer!" Effie said excitedly.

"No sh*t, Sherlock!" a boy screamed.

"OH MY GOD, CURSING ISN'T ALLOWED IN THIS FANFIC!" Madge screamed.

"Yeah!" a little kid squeaked. A twelve year old boy with spiky black hair popped into the stage.

"I am XxFreeOatmealxX and I am the author of this story!" the kid boomed.

A portal opens and a group of women pop out.

"Piper, freeze him!"

A young woman with long brown hair flashed her hands at the boy. He suddenly froze. Motionless.

"Prue, send him away!"

A young woman with pale skin and long black hair flashed her hands at the frozen child. XxFreeOatmealxX was sent flying into the air, gone forever.

Prim used her power of Conjuration to come up with a bazooka.

"Hasta la vista, witches!" Prim sneered.

The blond-haired girl pulled the trigger and the witches exploded into millions of pieces.

"Okay, carry on." Prim said innocently, the bazooka magically fades away.

"As I was saying, Pita Mellark will be the male tribute!" Effie announced.

"Oh wait. I made a mistake. I think I pulled out a name from the girls' reaping bowl!"

"Hey!" Peeta shouted.

"Lookie-lookie! It's a man-she!" Posy screamed.

* * *

**_Train Rides_**

Prim, Katniss, and Peeta were served a burnt chicken dish.

The chicken's feet were sticking up in the air, it's middle toe was the only one uncurled.

"Are you sure this is the Cluck-U-Special?" Peeta asked.

"Yes." a Chinese woman said.

"Naw eat it! I made it jast for ya!"

Prim tore off the feet and she began sucking on the middle toe.

"No thank you. I'm vegetarian!" I say.

"Since when? All Dee-strict Twelve tributes eat anything, eee-ven meat!"

"Since now!"

I whipped out my cellphone and I took a picture of the badly baked fried chicken. Then I posted the picture on Facebook.

* * *

_**Katniss Mellark's Profile Page  
**_

_**Name: Katniss Everdeen Mellark 3  
**_

_**Age: 16  
**_

_**Sex: Female (I'm probably a shemale!)  
**_

_**Birthday: March 23, 2463  
**_

_**Current Location: I'm sitting next to Peeta! OMG! Beat that Delly!  
**_

_**Hobbies: STALKING PEETA, LOVING PEETA, SLEEPING WITH PEETA!**_

* * *

_**Katniss Everdeen's Wall**_

_****__Katniss E. has posted a picture of a burnt chicken. _

_**Comments:  
**_

_**Finnick Odair: Eww... That looks like Mags when she wears makeup!  
**_

_**Rue The Mockingjay: AGREED!  
**_

_**Glimmer The Sparkly Pony: EWW FRIED CHICKEN! THAT MAKES MAKES ME FAT!  
**_

_**Johanna Mason: No one cares, Katniss. It's just poor quality chicken.  
**_

_**Threshold: JUST EAT THE STUPID CHICKEN!  
**_


End file.
